For about 8 years now I have been struggling with what was then a sudden onset of chemical sensitivities.  All my life I was like any other girl.  I liked scents.  I used powders and lotions.  I never used a lot of perfumes and never liked strong perfumes or anything that smelled like flowers.  I thought it was personal preference only.  Then all the sudden I was plagued with headaches, nausea, and wild mood swings.  It took me awhile to realize that these things came on everyday when my girls were showering.  So begins a long struggle to find out what bothers me.  The real question is what doesn't?  My symptoms range from mild to horrible and they come on so quick that I don't even smell the scent before I start feeling sick.

Just now I answered the door to my evening children.  Mom is carrying a sleeping child in and the child has either just had her hair washed with smelly soap, or she has fruity flavored hell gel in her hair.  Either way, I'm sitting here feeling slightly dizzy, mildly head-achy  and a but nauseous.  I'm itchy too.  The good news, it's a light reaction.  In another hour or so I'll begin to feel better.  Although my sinuses are bad, always bad.  I don't think my sinuses ever get over being exposed so often.  Cleaning supplies, hand creams, hair care products, hand sanitizer, perfumes of all kinds, candles, car fresheners.... Now car fresheners make me almost violently ill.

So what am I going to do about it?  The same thing I've been doing the last 2 years.  I'm trying to keep my focus on the Lord.  I'm trying to walk in love to the best of my ability.  And I'm so grateful for any moments here and there that I'm not suffering.

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.


I am convinced that I will get my full manifestation of healing.  For one thing, I have been healed of other things.  God has taken away major pain while I sleep.  I used to hurt in my arms and hips and back when I slept.  I could only sleep for 2-3 hours per night before the pain would be too much.  This went on for years getting so bad that I wanted to die.  It's just not that possible to be sleep deprived for years without a cascading effect of problems that all stem from not sleeping.  In the first few months I was studying healing scripture, books, and watching healing messages, the pain just vanished.  I know exactly what night it did too.

I was alone in the house.  It's extremely rare for me to be alone.  I did not have to wake up and answer the door.  For 20 years I've woke up to go to the bathroom every hour on the hour and often more.  That night I asked God to allow me to sleep.  I fell asleep on my back.  I woke up 5 hours later!  Now please get a full picture of this.  In times past, I would have been crying and unable to move if I accidentally slept on my back for even an hour.  I woke up feeling like it was the first night I slept in years.  I had no pain, anyplace!  From that night to this, I can sleep.  Most of the time I have no pain at all.  Occasionally, I start to get stiff.  Satan wants me to believe that I'm not healed.  But I'm not taking his sickness anymore!

Jesus carried my wounds and sicknesses! Why should I have to carry them too?  That would make what Jesus did for me to be worthless.  Jesus did not deserve the punishment.  That punishment was mine.  He did it so that I can live a good life and so that I can live right.  That's what I will strive to do.  But it's not striving to do it myself.  It's striving to learn more and more about him and to learn how to let him do the leading.